Returning from Influence... changed
As I sit here this morning watching the sun rise and the mist evaporate off the fields I can't help but be filled with lingering thoughts. This weekend was powerful, to say the least! I've had to take a few days to gather my thoughts and my wits about me.... you see this past weekend I went to the Influence Conference. It was a weekend of discovery for me. An emotional weekend. A time where I met incredible women. women who influenced me more than they can every know. women who i would dearly like to get to know better. speakers who provoked deep, soul searching moments (which still continue.) A time where I walked away wrecked yet renewed. It was a time filled with regret. loss. vulnerability. anticipation. longing. passion. discovery. Regret.... that i allowed overwhelming fear and anxiety to reduce me to someone i'm not. Loss... of opportunity to be real, to connect, to reach out to others. Vulnerable... in discovering that "old demons" had crept back in. Anticipation... of the days ahead growing closer to the Lord and "returning daily to the cross!" longing... for something that i can't quite put my finger on yet but knowing that God is doing a mighty, mighty work right now!!! Passion... deep and abiding for the man I love and for family (sometimes it takes being away to realize how much you miss them and love them..) Discovering... and knowing... that God has a plan! that it would scare the bejeebas out of me to know it all, but finally, FINALLY being content with that. not a complacent contentment but an all abiding, secure in HIS arms contentment!
So in the days ahead you will be seeing some changes... what? I'm not sure.... i just know that the Lord is working on me right now and HE has mighty plans for us. Yes, I do say us... because I know He is working in our family... on our family. I can tell you this... its not an easy process. and Satan is working hard as well... he doesn't want to see us submit to the Lord's will. Will I share all that is going on? No.... some things are too close to my heart. Will you still find crafts? and projects? painted furniture? food? the occasional recipe? Most definitely YES! But that is not all... because there are other things in the works. ideas ruminating. projects & plans forming. lessons being taught. Exciting days!! yes the days ahead can be (and will be) frightening but that fear will NO longer control me!!!
So my hope is that you will embrace the changes with me... because changes there will be most definitely be. and that you will pray for me... to be true to the changes ahead... to be open to whatever and where ever the LORD leads... to be fearless in the approaching days.
Thank you...
thanks so much for the chocolate. i loved getting to know little bits about you, and hopefully will by reading more here! you are a gem Peggy, don't forget it! i also loved that whenever i saw you across the room, you smiled at me. thanks for that. :)
ReplyDeleteBarbie F.
oh barb you are so very sweet! i must say i am so very glad that i was able to meet you this past weekend! you definitely helped me navigate the weekend, whether you know it or not! take care now and know that i look forward to getting to know you even better over time....
DeleteYour writing is BEAUTIFUL Peggy. Seriously. I think that you stole the words right out of my heart and wrote them on your blog. It was a pleasure and a joy to meet you. Maybe one of these days we could meet up for breadsticks at Mikes. ;)
ReplyDeleteKirsten,
DeleteFirst of all I want to say thank oh so very much for opening your room to me! for giving me a quiet place to land when i felt like the walls were going to come crashing in... :) You have a dear sweet heart and i look forward to getting to know you better. and about mikes... that sounds wonderful! and maybe we could meet up for a cupcake when I'm in your neck of the woods??? i've heard good things about a new place on the square.
Peggy, This is beautifully written.. but even more beautiful are your comments I have seen on other posts. I know I talked with you multiple times throughout the conference but I also know that many of our interactions were a simple "Hi, Peggy.. how are you" and nothing more. Please forgive me for not seeing your need and your loneliness at the time. I am glad to see that even through my utter lack of going deeper with you or seeing that you felt alone that the Lord was still working in you. You're influence is reaching all the way out to me here even today
ReplyDeleteThis was beautiful! Thanks for your showing your vulnerability. I felt some of the same emotions you expressed, and I fought them hard. I hope you feel supported as you explore this time of processing!
ReplyDeletePeggy! This post is so wonderful. Love your heart. thanks for being vulnerable and real.
ReplyDeletei read your post on some other blogs and they made my heart ache. we got to hang out a bit, but i had no idea how hard the conference was for you. i wish i had listened better.
you are a tender sweet heart. so glad to have met you!
Oh Peggy sound like the Lord is really doing a work in your family! I pray that you follow what he had planned for you because you just can't go wrong when you let God be in charge. I am do glad that you are letting us be a small part of this exciting time in your life.
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